Remote desktop questions

https://help.ubuntu.com/community/VNCOverSSH

If you can use a different protocol to do what you want you may find it quicker and more secure. VNC is not a terribly good protocol in any way and hasn't been updated in years

What actions do you intend to do on the remote system?

outside my network, I would like to use the desktop GUI remotely, much like Windows RDP.

Same internally, would like to use the desktop GUI. I thought VNC was not much of a security concern from within my home network. However willing to look at anything that works.

Yes but for what purpose? What activities wil you do on the desktop? Often there are FAR sleeker solutions than VNC.

while traveling and logged into work, they block POP sites and webmail. Don't want to have to carry work laptop, and home laptop so I like to log in and retrieve my email this way. I have been caught without a file and needed to transfer it to me. possible use my ipad or laptop to show a demo video etc.

Inside my own network, I might do anything from listen to a podcast to xfer downloaded shows/movies to my patriot for tv playback.

The guide will help greatly. If the client system has an X server you can connect using:

ssh -X -C user@server

And you can run remote X apps, they will be processed on the server but show on the client. If this won't work (you can install xming on your Windows client). VNC will work fine, just remember the SSH tunnel as VNC has zero security

connection refused, is there a ssh service that needs to be started on the remote ubuntu PC.

yes, install openssh-server and you can connect via ssh on port 22 (this will default be used by the ssh client in ubuntu too)

OK, thanks so much. One final question. Opening this up like this presents a security concern.. Should I now buy a book on iptables and get to reading? I seem to remember this from years ago with my limited linux experience.

ssh uses 2048bit encryption, you will need your username and password to connect. You can further secure by adding ssh keys. Only systems wth the key and your username and password can get access then.

Perfect - great information time to "man ssh"