synaptic reads this message. Then crashes on me.

Heres the output from inside synaptic.

Synaptics :error
E: The value 'zesty' is invalid for APT::Default-Release as such a release is not available in the sources
E: _cache->open() failed, please report.

My output:
bean@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~$ sudo -i
[sudo] password for bean:
Sorry, try again.
[sudo] password for bean:
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo apt autoremove
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 0 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# apt update /etc/apt/sources.medibuntu.list
E: The update command takes no arguments
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo apt update /etc/apt/sources.medibuntu.list
E: The update command takes no arguments
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo apt update /etc/apt/sources.list
E: The update command takes no arguments
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo apt update /etc/apt/sources.list.d/google-earth.list
E: The update command takes no arguments
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# cat /etc/dpkg/dpkg.cfg.d/artful
cat: /etc/dpkg/dpkg.cfg.d/artful: No such file or directory
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo rm /var/lib/apt/lists/lock
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo rm /var/cache/apt/archives/lock
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo rm /var/lib/dpkg/lock sudo cp -arf /var/lib/dpkg /var/lib/dpkg.backup
rm: invalid option -- 'a'
Try 'rm --help' for more information.
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo cp /var/lib/dpkg/status-old /var/lib/dpkg/status || sudo cp /var/backups/
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo cp /var/lib/dpkg/status-old /var/lib/dpkg/status || sudo cp /var/backups/apt.extended_states.0 /var/lib/dpkg/status
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo mv /var/lib/dpkg/available /var/lib/dpkg/available-bad
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo cp /var/lib/dpkg/available-old /var/lib/dpkg/available
cp: cannot stat '/var/lib/dpkg/available-old': No such file or directory
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo rm -rf /var/lib/dpkg/updates/*
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo rm -rf /var/lib/apt/lists
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo rm /var/cache/apt/*.bin
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo mkdir /var/lib/apt/lists
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# udo mkdir /var/lib/apt/lists
The program 'udo' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing:
apt install udo
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# apt install udo
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
E: Unable to locate package udo
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo apt install udo
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
E: Unable to locate package udo
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo mkdir /var/lib/apt/lists/partial
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# LANG=C;sudo apt-get clean
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# LANG=C;sudo apt-get autoclean
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# $ LANG=C;sudo apt-get --purge autoremove
$: command not found
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 0 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
15 not fully installed or removed.
After this operation, 0 B of additional disk space will be used.
Setting up python-secretstorage (2.3.1-2) ...
Setting up python-simplejson (3.11.1-1) ...
Setting up python-crypto (2.6.1-7build1) ...
Setting up python-keyring (10.4.0-1) ...
Setting up python-gpgme (0.3-1.2build1) ...
Setting up python-bzrlib (2.7.0+bzr6619-7) ...
Setting up bzr (2.7.0+bzr6619-7) ...
Setting up python-keyrings.alt (2.2-2) ...
Setting up python-httplib2 (0.9.2+dfsg-1) ...
Setting up python-zope.interface (4.3.2-1build1) ...
Setting up python-lazr.uri (1.0.3-2build1) ...
Processing triggers for man-db (2.7.6.1-2) ...
Setting up python-oauth (1.0.1-5) ...
Setting up python-wadllib (1.3.2-3) ...
Setting up python-lazr.restfulclient (0.13.4-6) ...
Setting up python-launchpadlib (1.10.4-1) ...
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# LANG=C;sudo apt-get --fix-missing update -o APT::Cache-Limit=100000000
Get:1 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful InRelease [237 kB]
Get:2 http://ppa.launchpad.net/byobu/ppa/ubuntu artful InRelease [15.4 kB]
Get:3 http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu artful-security InRelease [65.5 kB]
Get:4 http://ppa.launchpad.net/graphics-drivers/ppa/ubuntu artful InRelease [21.3 kB]
Get:5 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful-updates InRelease [65.5 kB]
Get:6 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful-backports InRelease [65.5 kB]
Get:7 http://ppa.launchpad.net/byobu/ppa/ubuntu artful/main Sources [780 B]
Get:8 http://ppa.launchpad.net/byobu/ppa/ubuntu artful/main amd64 Packages [764 B]
Get:9 http://ppa.launchpad.net/byobu/ppa/ubuntu artful/main i386 Packages [764 B]
Get:10 http://ppa.launchpad.net/byobu/ppa/ubuntu artful/main Translation-en [452 B]
Get:11 http://ppa.launchpad.net/graphics-drivers/ppa/ubuntu artful/main Sources [3544 B]
Get:12 http://ppa.launchpad.net/graphics-drivers/ppa/ubuntu artful/main i386 Packages [10.3 kB]
Get:13 http://ppa.launchpad.net/graphics-drivers/ppa/ubuntu artful/main amd64 Packages [10.3 kB]
Get:14 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/main amd64 Packages [1134 kB]
Get:15 http://ppa.launchpad.net/graphics-drivers/ppa/ubuntu artful/main Translation-en [3180 B]
Get:16 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/main i386 Packages [1130 kB]
Get:17 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/main Translation-en [555 kB]
Get:18 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/main amd64 DEP-11 Metadata [461 kB]
Get:19 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/main DEP-11 64x64 Icons [298 kB]
Get:20 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful amd64 Contents (deb) [37.4 MB]
Get:21 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful i386 Contents (deb) [37.0 MB]
Get:22 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/restricted amd64 Packages [8676 B]
Get:23 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/restricted i386 Packages [8644 B]
Get:24 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/restricted Translation-en [2724 B]
Get:25 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/universe i386 Packages [8267 kB]
Get:26 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/universe amd64 Packages [8305 kB]
Get:27 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/universe Translation-en [4768 kB]
Get:28 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/universe amd64 DEP-11 Metadata [2779 kB]
Get:29 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/universe DEP-11 64x64 Icons [7876 kB]
Get:30 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/multiverse amd64 Packages [154 kB]
Get:31 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/multiverse i386 Packages [148 kB]
Get:32 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/multiverse Translation-en [109 kB]
Get:33 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/multiverse amd64 DEP-11 Metadata [43.2 kB]
Get:34 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful/multiverse DEP-11 64x64 Icons [210 kB]
Fetched 111 MB in 52s (2108 kB/s)
Reading package lists... Done
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo dpkg --configure -a
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# sudo dpkg --clear-avail
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# LANG=C;sudo apt-get -f install
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 0 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# LANG=C;sudo apt-get --fix-missing install
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 0 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# LANG=C;sudo apt-get --fix-missing install
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 0 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~# LANG=C;sudo apt-get update -o APT::Cache-Limit=100000000 && sudo apt-get dist-upgrade
Hit:1 http://security.ubuntu.com/ubuntu artful-security InRelease
Hit:2 http://ppa.launchpad.net/byobu/ppa/ubuntu artful InRelease
Hit:3 http://ppa.launchpad.net/graphics-drivers/ppa/ubuntu artful InRelease
Hit:4 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful InRelease
Hit:5 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful-updates InRelease
Hit:6 http://ubuntu.mirrors.tds.net/pub/ubuntu artful-backports InRelease
Reading package lists... Done
Reading package lists... Done
Building dependency tree
Reading state information... Done
Calculating upgrade... Done
0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 0 to remove and 0 not upgraded.
root@okiedoke-HP-15-Notebook-PC:~#