replace xp with ubuntu -- can not boot from cd-rom or usb drive

(1) Can not boot from CD-ROM Drive ... BIOS does not support it

(2) Can not boot from USB thumb drive ... BIOS does not support it

(3) There is no floppy disk drive.

(4) Laptop has buggy Win XP with a stubborn virus I can't remove; with patience I CAN boot to Windows XP and the machine is (somewhat) useful.

(5) When booted via the hard disk into XP, I can read the CD-ROM drive and a USB thumb drive

(6) I have no desire to dual boot. I want to devote the entire laptop to Ubuntu.

(7) I've read this, but don't see anything that addresses my situation:
https://help.ubuntu.com/community/Installation#Installation%20without%20a%20CD

(8) This may have worked, under the "Manual process" section:

https://help.ubuntu.com/community/Installation/FromWindows

... but the location of linux and initrd.gz from the specified web page (second bullet under "The netbook approach") is a bogus URL ... web page does not exist.

ON the same source page (Installation/FromWindows), using "The CD approach" it is not clear (to me) what the "ALTERNATE" ubuntu-installer is ... there is a link to "Alternative downloads" on the download page ...

(i.e., http://www.ubuntu.com/desktop/get-ubuntu/download)

... but this seems to refer to alternative download sites, and when I go to them, there is nothing about the "ALTERNATIVE ubuntu-insaller"

So, where do I download the "ALTERNATE ubuntu-installer?" Does it still exist?